The victim wrote this account of his death in his last few minutes:
" I was walking out of my History of Italian Foods class, reflecting on the glorious mystery that is Italian culture when all of a sudden my killer lunged at me from a corner. Startled, but not willing to go down without a fight, I quickly used my amazing Ninja abilities and did a series of back flips down the hallway. Using a nearby professor as a human shield, I was able to safely dodge the flurry of bullets shot at me by my formidable opponent. My enemy, crazed with the desire to kill advanced, jumping from wall to wall as she struggled to pin me down. We battled fiercely for several minutes, destroying anything that happened to cross our path. Just when I was about to achieve final victory and escape from her clothespin of death, I tripped over an innocent bystander cowering in fear. Taking advantage of my momentary lack of defense, my killer lunged forth striking me with her devilish wooden barb. It was over. The third floor of McCook lay in ruins, the destruction incomprehensible. Breathing my last breaths from the rubble of the ruined hallway, I softly whispered the name of my next target into the ear of my killer. I recognized the profound skill of my opponent and after wishing her the best of luck in her future pursuits, I took my leave of this world. And thus ended the life of Jim Armillay..."
Yep, this is exactly how it happened.
Killer: Kristina Pappas
Time of Death: sometime last week
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